Adoption has always been a small part of my life...my mom was adopted so we grew up talking about it occasionally and my grandmother and I have had several conversations over the last 30 years about how much of a blessing adoption can be to someone who can't have children. So I have always had a heart for adoption and quite an urgency to follow through with a mission to do this someday. Of course, I thought I would do it on my terms and under my conditions. That is where I had mistaken the yearnings in my heart for adoption as one of my dreams, not the plan God had in store for me. Two years ago Jeremy and I found out that we would never conceive a child on our own. We could do it through In-vitro but never spontaneously, which in iself is devastating...this meant there would be NO accidental pregnancy, no weekend getaway baby or a child concieved out of anthing but some fancy medical procedure and even the pure reality that the number of children we had dreamed of was suddenly taken away from us for pure financial reasons! Now those of you that have dealt with infertility know this heartache, for those that haven't...it sucks! Mostly because all your choices are taken away from you and you are at the mercy of medical doctors. Well realistically God's MERCY, but it was hard to focus on that at the time.
Somewhere in those moments at the doctors office..the moment that I had hit the shut off switch. I remember thinking very clearly "this is why I have a heart for adoption".... But then it was over, I went back to the words "you will not ever conceive on your own".... and I never really re-visited that moment about adoption until months later.
Well most of you know that we looked into our options for creating a family, because we knew we were meant to have a family...we knew our lives would never be complete without a child to call our own. We did our research and we prayed like warriors and really felt called to at least try the In-vitro so we couldn't say somewhere down the road..."what if"....
We were blessed on our first attempt and got pregnant with our son. He has been the greatest joy in our lives. I look at his beautiful smile everyday and feel like the luckiest mom in the world! I feel so thankful that I have gotten to experience the joy of becoming a mom. His blue eyes will melt your heart and his spirit is one in a million. We have watched him become alive in his personality and we knew shortly after he could smile in response to people that he need a sibling and a playmate. So here we are..............after months of prayers and Gods faithfulness he has completely filled our hearts with the yearning to move to adoption for our second child. Its been really cool to watch God orchestrate this decision. Jeremy has always been OK with thinking about adoption, but now he is adamant on adoption! His heart has been filled to the brim with that sense of urgency that I have always carried.
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